-Lost in the woods-
______________

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

   Tuesday, November 22  

The really important questions.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? And my FAVOURITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

   [ posted by T~ @ 11/22/2005 10:47:00 p.m. ] [ ]

Sunday, November 20

Hey hey, now, Nancy & Pancy? Let me tell you girls something now. You're lucky we're married, or we.... we'd be all over you girls. You've got boyfriends? well where are they? We'd be all over you. Ya know, if it wern't for Mary.

Poor mary. You had to deal with those sorry excuses after they got out of the cab, while we only had them for 3 minutes. They totally renig'd on their offer to pay for our cab. Ah well, fun was had, no one was injured, no one was groped. Much. Anyway. Christmas is coming, we need to have as many gatherings as possible. Everyone clear your schedule, there shall be eggnog. Maybe rum. We shall see.

   [ posted by T~ @ 11/20/2005 03:13:00 a.m. ] [ ]

Saturday, November 12

It's around 3 on the second night of my backshifts. This is usually when I feel like it's 1 on a Monday and I start thinking of all the things I need to do. Crap I hate it when these stupid shifts mess me up. Last night I almost expired during the shift, tonight I feel like I need to be planning a Martha Stewart style dinner party. As usual, I'll just end up doing nothing here, getting tired, and wanting to spend the rest of the weekend in bed. Normal sleep patterns...what's that? I have no memory what so ever of what it's like to sleep a normal night's sleep, function the next day, then go to sleep again. I always feel like when other peoples days are ending, mine is just starting, and when I'm ready to call it a night, I should be getting up to start over like the normal people. I always worked during the week when I was in High School, and I never thought much of going to work for a couple of hours after classes, but I cannot imagine students who worked actual full shifts during the night and then getting up for classes. I guess it would be the same if you're in university and worked nights. I'm pretty glad that most of my late bar shifts were on the weekends, or I didn't have to be up till later for classes. Working nights is like a totally different existence. People function in shifts, you see some people in the mornings, different people at evenings. When you end up doing both, it's like you're spying on the other. Most people are either day people or night people and stay that way, very few of us switch back and forth. Makes me feel like an outcast on the rims of society. It would be different if we lived in a big city that never sleeps, like New York or something, where there were more people up odd hours. Night people here are not social people. I see so few people when I work nights, it worries me that when I next go to talk to someone, I'll have lost all pretence of social skills that I might have had. It's like I have to actually call my mom, dad, or friends to make sure that I actually talk to someone other than the teckies that I listen to on calls nearby. I think I've actually gone a couple of days at a time where I won't have more than two or three conversations with anyone outside of work for that entire time! Sure, I'll talk to people on msn, but actual vocal conversations, nadda.

*Thus: as a point to my very long rant and ramble, I propose coffee dates. I may call you for them, or you may call me if you feel so inclined. Don't be alarmed, I'm not going to ask you for a kidney or money, just the inclination to talk to a person face to face. If you feel like minded, feel free to give me a call.

   [ posted by T~ @ 11/12/2005 04:09:00 a.m. ] [ ]