Welcome to Ruttsville
I'm sorry. I'm awful to deal with when I'm like this. You should avoid me. I would. Does anyone else feel like their life is a fly infested pile of dog poo just sitting there in the corner stinking everything up? I feel like I'm just wasting time working at a job that's ok, but completely meaningless to me. Just one more in the list. Sure I work with cool people, but it's not what I want to do! I want to do something that means something to me, that I get up in the morning looking forward to what I'm going to do that day, not want to just stay in bed and dread having to get up. I want to do something worthwhile that makes me not feel like I'm wasting my life just waiting for something better to come along. And when that something comes along, I don't want to feel this helpless watching it slip by me.
I hate applying for jobs that I really want, then get hyped up, have a pretty good interview (and yeah, I know the difference) and have them never call even to let me know someone else got it. It's even worse when I find out later that they had someone picked before they even called me for the interview, I was just strung along as back up. I guess I should be glad that I was considered good enough to be second string, but that sure sucks after a while of never being the one to get the job. Sure, they have no obligation to tell me anything, but hell, I've had interviews and tests that have lasted for hours, with me basically selling my entire life to them. Telling someone that you're completely ready and willing to turn your life upside down to devote to their project/cause because you really believe in it too (and mean it!) takes it out of you after a while. I walk away feeling like an ass, judged, and found lacking. I feel like I'm drowning and I never got the chance to jump in.
Monday, June 13
